windsurf

Yesterday I went for a windsurfing proficiency course and...I absolutely loved it. I think I finally understand why some people are really into sports. For example, when we were learning how to surf yesterday, all of us kept falling into the water because we couldn't balance well with the strong currents, but we never stopped trying. And when you finally get to sail, the feeling of accomplishment is just overwhelming. Granted, we spent more time swimming than sailing but still... Very proud of everyone who went through the course together :) And very thankful for the instructors that we had, Adrian and Jack. And despite the tan and muscle aches that I got, I can't wait to windsurf again :( Can really foresee myself sticking to this sport for a long, long time haha. Gotta get midterms over and done with this week and I'll be brushing up on my skills heheh.

In other words

Yesterday only made me realise how much I really loved you. I love you because even though you overslept for our breakfast date, you made the effort to make it up to me by fetching me all the way from Jurong after my tuition ended. I love you because we can argue about how awesome/terrible the West area is and at the end of it, we both know Toa Payoh wins Jurong hands down. I love you because we go around in circles trying to decide on what to do/where to go and finally deciding on hopping on a train with no aim whatsoever. I love you because you gave up your seat for an elderly couple (granted, I did it first but still...). I love you because you made me finish up my bottle of water simply because it's healthier than my other bottle of lemon tea. I love you because on our walk to Ikea, you made me close my eyes when I complained about dust getting into them and you guided me really really carefully. I love you because we can have so much fun at Ikea walking around and trying furniture out haha. I love you because of how you took a decorative flower and asked me out for Social Night after I insisted that your train "proposal" wasn't good enough. I love you because you tried to calm me down when we ran into despicable people. I love you because you treated me to Ya Kun after we missed it in the morning and you sat next to me even though we looked weird. I love you because you're the only person I can embarrass myself in public with i.e. dropping all the caps in Billabong and making you hang them back for me whoops haha. I love you because you tolerate with me when I insist on visiting every supermarket present hahahaha. I love you because of how comfortable and open you are with me. I love you because we can make last-minute decisions to hop onto a NParks bus and still have fun at it. I love you because of how I'm always exploring new places with you such as Mt Faber Park. I love you because I'm happy when we just sat on a bench and held hands without talking. I love you because you never complained when I forced you to pick up my sandal for me after it slipped off my foot. I love you because you made me feel like a Disney princess i.e. Cinderella. I love you because of how you always let me have the first bite of your food even though you were starving and I took a very long time swallowing my own food. I love you because of how often you feed me heehee. I love you because you still sent me partially home even though it was late and you had work to do. I love you because you put up with my sudden and random outburst and held me while I cried. I love you because you hugged me really really tight and reassured me that things will work out. I love you because you're you. I wouldn't trade you for the world.

beep beep beep beep beep

Can I just mention something? I really hate being stressed. When I'm stressed, I tend to eat a lot and spend a lot, neither of which is very healthy (either to my body or my bank account). And I'm so freaking broke now sighzzz gotta save $$ as much as possible. I hope my tuition centre pays me soon and I hope I rly pass my tp so that I don't have to waste any more $$ on driving zzz.

Hate having SO MUCH to do for sch sigh. It's really neverending and I'm really tired but there's nth I can do except to suck it up urgh rly hate the education system in SG wish I cld fly away and nvr come back I H8 SCH  Studying --> stress --> wasting money --> eating unnecessarily --> putting on weight --> being fat --> hate myself for being fat --> stress and then everything repeats again!!

And I hate being cranky as well urgh whoever said life was rainbows and butterflies were lying 

My list also includes M1 not sending my msgs to jing/jing's phone not receiving my msgs/jing's svc provider not sending me msgs he sent me. HELLO I don't see my boyfriend 5 times a week the least you could do is ensure that we get to talk to each other everyday right!! But nooooo, just gotta screw up everything. And even when he's back I don't get to see him cos I'm so busy and so is he and generally life sucks especially since he's gonna go brunei for training in a couple of months time. 

Okay that's it, this post is a waste of online space but whatever, just needed to rant.

she makes me happy/i know where i'll be/right by your side cause/she is the one

sigh today is one of those days where i start off being pessimistic and it just gets worse throughout the day and right now i'm sitting down on a chair (wtf ttly redundant). so i was thinking... what would happen if i leave everything and everyone behind? just fly away to somewhere new and not tell anyone where i am. of course, it's impossible to completely disappear off the face of earth but still, the idea of it is very tempting.

i've been feeling v antisocial lately it's not even funny. i can't even remember the last time i was happy. this sucks so bad because i'm always happy most of the time! (for this yr at least) must be cuz of sch and tuition and basically you not being here. and then that leads me to thinking abt where we'll be one yr from now. would we still be together? and then i get all depressed cos i cannot imagine being with you but i don't want to force (and you wouldn't be forced as well) into a religion that i myself am not completely 100% "faithful" to. pls note that i use the term loosely simply because i can't find a better word to explain the predicament that i'm in.

and all day long i'm just thinking abt all these irrelevant issues that i don't rly have the time to deal with right now because i have soooo much more on my plate. and then someone wld v timely post smth abt an unfortunate accident/person/whatever and i wld feel guilty for not cherishing my life blah blah blah. doesn't help that i'm taking psych and i get very curious that i keep asking 'why' way too much.

i can't wait for you to come back from field camp so that we can celebrate your bday and i can rant to you and it'll be perfectly okay if you don't listen to me and treat my nonsense and nonsense cos i just need to talk and you understand that. plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspslpslpslspls.

get your heart on